AND THIS IS BECAUSE OF YOU

After how many long months of our relationship, we always end up in misunderstanding. Ewan ko ba, basta ang alam ko minsan, sinasadya kong magtampo tampuhan sayo para lambingin mo ako, pero mali,. isang malaking mali! Siguro dahil masyado akong naniniwala na mahal mo talaga ako. I've been always make things na alam kong pag aawayan naten in the reason na gusto kong mapansin mo ako kahit paano. hindi lang kapag may kailangan ka, kundi sana kahit sa maliit na paraan. Before actually were become together, I don't believe in "love" because I knew that no man can't even love the person like me, even in the best things come. But do believe that loving me is worst things in life. Kakatawa kasi kahit alam ko nang walang pwedeng magmahal saken, still I tried. Noong una, sabe ko sa sarili that I will never fall in love to any one else, kaya lahat ng matipuhan ko tinitikman ko lang without emotions involved kahit minsan madalas na nauulit yung ginagawa ko for that one particular person. Still, I am not longing for someone to be with me forever, for I know that nothing in this world is forever.But I am wrong, I definitely wrong. Until you come to my life. At first, I told myself that I'm going to get you fall in me and try you to change, then after that, I will get you out in my life. But I got my biggest mistake to get you in into my life. Kahit alam kong yun talaga ang forte mo, at kahit na may pagkakapereho tayo ng style sinubukan ko paring kunin ka. I dare myself to you sabe ko pa nga I just going to use you as the subject of my story. Without knowing na mas magaling ka palang may play ng role kesa saken. I was very wrong to think this to you, for I was knew na experyensado ka na pala in this industry. Nung una feeling ko I know na I won, kasi naging tayo at naramdaman kong you're falling in me. Kaya medyo nakampanti na ako without asking myself until when is this? were in now in our 9 months of relationship. Masaya na masakit kasi nahulog na ako sayo, sobrang namahal nakita. Then its come to me I just change, I simply suddenly change. I come to the point na sobrang nag eexpect na ako sayo. I just told to myself na akin  ka na. I was easy become obsess to you that I  come to the point na madalas napa-paranoid na ako, naghihinala na ako sa lahat, sa lahat lahat ng ginagawa mo, nakakasama mo until I came na gusto ko binabantayan na kita, na gusto ko I know everything you do, na kung sino kasama mo, anong ginagawa mo, at kung nasaan ka. I just called myself OA for this things to you, I think I become crazy to you. Hanggang sa umaabot na tayo ng madalas nating pag aaway, I just realize na unti-unti na akong nagiging selfish, unti-unti na akong nagbabago, nawawala na ako sa unang purpose ko kung bakit pumasok ako sa relasyon naten. Natatakot na akong iwan mo, kaya sobrang OA na ako pagdating sayo. Sobra na kitang mahal kaya ayaw ko ng mawala ka, maagaw ng iba. kahit alam kong I just least in your priorities. Nakalimutan kong sumingit lang ako sa inyo. Nakalimutan kong may iba ka ng pumasok ako sa buhay mo. Kaya sobra akong nagseselos at nasasaktan kapag nababalitaan kong magkasama kayo, lalo na kapag sinasabe mong una siyang naging iyo bago ako, sobrang sakit kasi after all, pagkatapos kong subukan gawin lahat ng ginagawa nya sayo, binibigay, wala pa rin pala, tagos tagusan yung sakit na yun,.But I need to be strong for that, kasi yun siguro yung consequence ko ng pag agaw ko sayo sa kanya. At this point of my life, I just said to myself, talo na ako, gusto na nga isip ko na sumuko, pero ayaw na ayw pa ng puso ko. This is now the battle begins, kung sino ba ang susundin ko, ang isip ko na nagsasabing kalimutan na kita o ang puso ko na nagsasabing diko kyang iwan ka? This is where our war start. I fight for the reason na mahal kita, kahit alam kong gustong gusto mo na ako iwan. I fight coz I have this feelings for you, kahit alam kong hindi mo na ako mahal. Hirap, as in hirap. Now i know, ganito pala ang mainlove, ang magmahal. You will going to do the very best you can do para lang sa taong minamahal mo. Kahit yung pinaka worst magagawa mo dahil lang sa pagmamahal. Kahit hindi mo kayang gawin, kahit ayaw mong gawin, kahit hirap kang gawin lahat magagawa mo pagdating sa love. And I did it all for you.Now, at this very night of our talk. I would say na ako ang mali for all of this. I realized that I totally change because of my love for you. May part na negative pero atleast meron ding positive for this. I learned a lot. I learned most of the things na hindi ko natutunan or hindi kayang ituo ng kahit sino man. I know myself, my real inside me. And this is because of you, you actually become one of my mentor for this worst part of life. I thank you for all, for everything, for this very learned experience. This is actually one the best to add in my very memorable experience. I thank you for this, for the love you gave to me, for pain you brought in me, for all the feelings we've shared. Now, I will never close my heart for you, for its your love is here. We maybe rest, but in time of everything for us,..at least alam natin lahat, alam na natin kung paano ihandle yung isa't isa. For that time, I wish that we both good in life, good in all good in everything and most of all were good together...I LOVE YOU so much...for this is the words I can only say to you...I LOVE YOU and Thanks for Your LOVE....

-margelo05